Communicating with a loved one that is terminally ill can be quite a challenge. It’s natural to feel helpless and emotional while looking into the face of someone we care about knowing that we can’t fix what they’re going through. Don’t let your own fear and emotions stop you from sharing these last few priceless moments with someone whom you hold very dear. Here are a few pointers so that you know what to say to someone in hospice.

 

Understand That There Is No “Right Thing” To Say

Many people avoid visiting their loved ones while they are in hospice care because not only are they unable to bear the sight of them in their current condition, but they are unsure of what to say. While this may be a difficult decision to make, don’t let this be you. The truth is, there is no “right” thing to say.

At this point, they are aware of where their circumstances will eventually lead up to and are not expecting you to come and save the day. Don’t feel the need to walk on eggshells or beat yourself up about saying something wrong. Just come with a pure heart and never try to wait until conditions get “better” for them because unfortunately, sometimes they never do.

 

Do Not Pity Them

Treat them as normally as possible. As bad as things may be going for them, they are not in need of your pity. Offer empathy instead. Though the chances of recovery may be slim, they can enjoy the moment with you if you keep a lighthearted mood.

While that does not mean you should oversell false hope, you should still make an effort to choose words and conversations that are uplifting and positive.

Though your intentions come from a good place, displaying signs of pity is a way of showing defeat during a time when encouragement is needed. It may be hard to “fake it” but just use these moments to appreciate whatever time you still have with your loved one.

 

Just Listen

Often we get so caught up on what to say and what not to when what we really need to do is just listen. By just tuning in, you may be surprised as to what you discover.

Many patients in hospice care have already made peace with the inevitable and are mentally prepared to pass over, so they just may be in need of a listening ear. Ask questions about their hospice stay and see if there is anything you can do to help.

 

Reflect On Positive Memories

A person in hospice care is probably going to spend most of their time reflecting on their life which includes the good and the bad. Use this time to bring up as many good memories as possible.

Share old photographs of family reunions and holidays. Remind them of those classic funny moments or an old school-grade crush. Those small, powerful moments of the past can provide a great deal of emotional healing.

 

Express Your Love To Them

Don’t let one hospice visit end without reminding them that you love them. As heartbreaking as it can be, always remind yourself that this may be the last time you two will get to share the same space, so say the important things before it’s too late.

Express your forgiveness for anything that may have gone wrong in the past and wipe the slate clean. Reassure them that they will be missed and remembered once they have passed.

Don’t beat yourself up about what to say to someone in hospice when the most important thing that you can do is to just show up for them. There isn’t a magic word that will turn the situation around, but just spending quality time and enhancing their last moments with joy and love is all that can be expected and more.

 

If You Need a Helping Hand During This Trying Time, Call Now

If you have any questions as to whether your loved one should transition to hospice care, contact us now at 985.868.3095 or toll-free at 888.893.3829.

We are located at 205 Bayou Gardens Boulevard, Suite E in Houma, Louisiana and are ready to assist your family during your time of need.

 

Need Help? Contact Us Today

Planning for hospice can be a confusing process. While this framework should help guide you during this process, sometimes you need a little extra help. If that’s the case, contact Hospice of South Louisiana today. Our experienced team of hospice nurses and physicians are ready to assist you during this process. Contact us today and get started on hospice planning now.